There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
