The best revenge is premature balding
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
