Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
