You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
