at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
