cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
