I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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