Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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