did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
