Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
