And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
