I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
