I skipped work to stalk him.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
