just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
