So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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