Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
