I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's official drugs can't kill me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Randomize
