and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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