I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
