We're facebook friends in real life
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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