I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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