ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
