rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she told me i tasted like america
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
There's even glitter on my cock...
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