I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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