go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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