I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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