Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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