Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
