I wish my penis had an off switch
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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