Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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