Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
