Buhtt sex?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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