You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
