so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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