Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
