Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
