But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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