and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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