real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
