Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
