We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How does it feel to date your dad?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
