i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
