just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
