my vag is so smooth its legendary
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
