And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
