Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize