I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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