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• (858): View more from California

  sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

  (818): View more from California

  No. He thinks you're slutty.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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• (916): View more from California

  I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We can Fuck in the shower to save time

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  "Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.

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• (456): View more from

  ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.

  (345): View more from Cayman Islands

  I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder

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