For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
