no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
