brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
