You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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