My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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