the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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