Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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