i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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