The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize