If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize