He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
