im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
