Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
