my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
vagina is talking i cant
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize