My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
