I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
