Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
