we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
