Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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